Lip Balm

We were in Brighton yesterday walking along, in their rather depressing shopping centre, when the woman walking across Triple P's path stops dead so suddenly that we nearly collided with her. Actually she was rather nice, in a kind of tennis mum sort of way. It was a near enough miss that she smiled and apologised, anyway.

But what was it that caused her to stop dead in her tracks like that? She had to reach into her handbag, get out a silly little tube and apply lip balm! So does it go: "Walk walk, swing the hips quite nicely, think about a new handbag, clip clop along in my nice suede boots and black tights, make my skater skirt swirl and then BANG! EMERGENCY! STOP! I need to put on lip balm!"? Did she suddenly feel her lips cracking? Did she realise that she hadn't put any on that day? How do women's minds work (if they do, at all?)?

What is lip balm for, anyway? Women seem to use it all the time. The only time I used some, when somewhere very cold in Canada (and only because S made me) it felt like having slimy scum on my lips. A horrible sensation. It's one of those things only girls do; like eating yoghurt, putting their mobile phones on the table next to them when they are out and thinking that shoes are interesting.

It's just another useless product invented by multi-national cosmetics companies that you don't need but they can persuade you to buy anyway.

It's all very weird!