We are still watching True Blood, and am now on the second series, but also have managed a few other films lately, although, yet again, we have bought more than we have watched!
All Ladies Do It (1992)
The story
Housewife Diana (Claudia Koll) is finding married life a bit dull and embarks on a series of affairs to bring some passion back into her life. Meanwhile she learns the joys of anal sex from a poet and attempts to persuade her husband to indulge her in it.
Claudia presents herself to a plastic penis
Seen it before?
No, this was a first time, although most Tinto Brass films feel like you have seen them before: stylised sets, lingering shots of his actresses posteriors (anus inlcuded), sex scenes with prosthetic penises etc.
Any good?
Not as jolly as some Tinto Brass features we have seen and elements of it leave a rather bitter aftertaste, but a reasonably worthwhile way to spend an hour and a half, particularly if you are fond of the female posterior. Make sure you buy the Italian language subtitled (and uncut) version rather than the horrible dubbed version.
Notable for...
Making a star out of Claudia Koll (real name Caludia Colacione) who, after a series of erotic movies, later became a born-again Roman Catholic.
Any good girlies?
Lots of attractive Italian women but Claudia herself is an absolute knockout. Pretty close to perfection for Agent Triple P!
King Arthur (2004)
The story
Arthur and his Samartian knights are about to finish their 15 year stint in the Roman army in Britain when they are sent on one last mission that will bring them into conflict with Merlin and his Wodes (by which they mean Picts but the producers thought the real name sounded funny and this from a film where the director is called Fuqua) and a Saxon invasion force.
Seen it before?
Half of it before our original DVD stpped working.
Any good?
There have been a few Late Romans in Britain films and all of them have been dull and historically inaccurate (don't even start Triple P on the Roman armour in this one). This had a few good scenes but was let down by dreadfully wooden acting from Clive Owen (Arthur) and Keira Knightley (Guenevere). Nice scenery (mainly shot in Ireland), though.
Big wall
Notable for...
The producers building a one kilometre long recreation of Hadrian's Wall. The producer, Jerry Bruckheimer, insisting that Miss Knightley wore a bizarre (and unhistoric) costume to show off her tummy muscles.
Eat some pies, girl!
Any good girlies?
It depends what you think of Keira Knightley, as basically she is it. Classically beautiful actress with a talent for period roles or hopelessly wooden clothes-peg with the figure of a boy. Personally, we think it's not her finest hour although she looks surprisingly convincing in the action scenes, despite her delicate muscles..
The Great St Trinian's Train Robbery (1966)
The story
A group of train robbers stash their loot in what is to become the new St Trinian's School. The girls move in and the robbers have to get it back. Meanwhile, the Ministry of Education is trying to get the school closed down.
A fine selection of baby doll nighties
Seen it before?
Once, on TV in black and white decades ago.
Reg Varney appreciates being down the stairs
Any good?
The first St Trinian's film to be shot in colour it is notably more "sixties" than the fifties feel of the earlier three. Most of the original cast has gone but there is a whole cohort of new character actors who would become British TV stalwarts for years to come: Reg Varney, Terry Scott, Arthur Mullard, Larry Martyn who join the older brigade of Raymond Huntley, Richard Wattis, Eric Barker et al. Dora Bryan is splendid as the new headmistress and Frankie Howard, although only working on three cylinders, keeps things moving as well. George Cole returns for the last time but the girls themselves are rather anonymous and play second fiddle to the other characters more than before. The weakest of the original four.
Gratuitous low-angle shot
Notable for...
Being based loosely on the real great train Robbery of 1963. An appearance by original Dr Who companion Carloe Ann Ford.
Margaret Nolan takes off
Any good girlies?
Other than the few brief appearances by Margaret Nolan (the girl in the Goldfinger credits sequence) the girls are more background dressing, although some of that dressing is very nice indeed. Rather more sixties baby doll nighties than stockings and suspenders (although they reappear in the second half of the film). Margaret Nolan, as the school art teacher, manages to combine the two whilst doing a striptease.
More films soon as we have a backlog!
